


Upon the Heath (Mark/Eduardo)

by ohnvm



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-31
Updated: 2011-10-17
Packaged: 2017-10-24 17:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/266066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohnvm/pseuds/ohnvm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eduardo can still hear it sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For [this prompt](http://tsn-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/390.html?thread=1170310#t1170310) at the [tsn_kinkmeme](http://tsn-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/), which kind of happened [here](http://tsn-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/8190.html?thread=13736958#t13736958). Which is basically _Mark to Eduardo: "Do you have any idea how much I love you?" (or some variation on that line)_.
> 
> apologies for the typos and stuff and the general schmoopiness oops this is the first time I'm actually going to legit post a fic on my own LJ, under my own name without sock-puppets and stuff. What the hell. I am so nervous about this because I am so critical of my own fics it's so weird lol um.  
> 

Eduardo feels—endless, limitless, overwhelming, relentless, and unhindered. He feels, and it shows on his face. Marilyn can see it by the way his face changes, emotions flickering from hurt, to anger, to exhaustion, and back. Over and over until she feels angry, and tired, and exhausted herself just by looking at him across the deposition table or by watching his reflection on the glass window; speaking hoarsely about the things that one usually looks back with a smile, not lips pressed into a thin line.

He tells his story; lets his mouth do the talking. Marilyn can see how hard he's trying to look in control. She can see how hard he's failing.

He says "I was your only friend". He says, " _You had one friend_ ".

And then there's a soft sound from the left. It's _something_ from someone who hasn't spoken or made any noise. All cold-eyes and carefully masked indifference. Marilyn hears his sigh over _my father won't even look at me_ , sees him dropping his pen and hunching in on himself. Younger, smaller, and more vulnerable; the most vulnerable she's ever seen him.

Marilyn hears, "do you have any idea how much I love you?"

And it's like getting punched in the gut. She sees it on everyone's face. Everyone's posture. Eduardo with his back ramrod straight, fingers gripping his chair until she's sure there would be half-moon indentations hours after they leave the room. It's a startled silence that follows, and there's a change of feel in the room: heavier, more exhausting.

Mark isn't looking up. Eduardo isn't turning back.

Gretchen says, " _you have a funny way of showing it_ ".

Eduardo continues speaking as if nothing has changed.

Marilyn feels her heart breaking.


	2. Chapter 2

Eduardo can still hear it sometimes. The quiet sigh, the pen on the table, and the words he didn't expect to have, the words he never expected to hear. It feels like they seeped into his bones, those words. Embedded themselves in his brain because Eduardo had always been so fucking needy and masochistic that his own brain didn't know how coping mechanisms work.

  
 _Do you have any idea how much I love you?_

  
The first time he sees Mark after the settlement, it's been four years of no contact. Talking to Chris and Dustin felt odd for him during the first few months of _After_. Because they're all skirting around Mark when it was almost always Mark they used to fuss about back in that dorm room, sharing fond and exasperated looks on top of his curly hair when they're persuading him to shower. But then Eduardo, Chris, and Dustin... they became friends again. Better friends than before. Reconciliation. The three of them developing a connection that does not involve Mark and it's good. It's great and it's fine. Eduardo doesn't know if it's just that they became experts on avoiding mentioning Mark's name, or if it's really because they've grown up. Capable of being friends with both sides without necessarily feeling like they're choosing one over the other. Eduardo hopes it's the latter.

Mark looks good. He's standing tall, if a little stiff. There's a casual confidence from the way he carries himself: left hand carrying a can of beer even if there is no beer being served, right hand in the pocket of his (surprisingly ironed and surprisingly not denim) trousers. Dustin is gesturing wildly and Mark has his head tilted to the side, a small smile playing on his lips. Mark looks happy.

Then suddenly Dustin looks over to him and waves enthusiastically and Mark, well, Eduardo has been dreading this. The first time they would see each other again. Eduardo's not sure why, but he's pretty convinced something would happen. Possibly cold, unfeeling stares and clipped, one worded replies. But then Mark looks at him, meets his stare head on and gives him a nod that's in between an acquaintance's _hello_ and a shareholder's acknowledgement of the other's presence. There is a pang in Eduardo's gut and he doesn't know if it's from devastation or from something else.

 _Do you have any idea how much I love you?_

Eduardo has forgotten how biting Mark's wit is. It's a mix condescension, self-deprecation, and dry humour that is so familiar to Eduardo that he doesn't realise he's missing it until he's heard it again. There's a meeting and it's A Meeting and it is Eduardo's first time to attend one in person but he really already knows what to expect. Business men in suits, wanting to go home than sit in chairs discussing something they've discussed a month before. What he did not expect, however, is barking a laugh at one of Mark's quips whilst he verbally eviscerates one of the more arrogant men in suits sitting around them.

Mark looks at him across the table, fingers absently pressed on his lower lip. There's a small wrinkle that appears on the side of Mark's eye and Eduardo still knows him enough from those two years of their friendship that it is because Mark's trying to stop himself from smiling. Eduardo tries to give him a stern look, schooling his expression to show his ' _Mark, you can't do that!_ ' face, but manages to look fond and giddy instead.

The man Mark insulted splutters in disbelief, muttering about how this is what he gets for working with amateurs and _children_. But Eduardo and Mark are too busy rolling their eyes and grinning at each other to give a fuck.

 _Do you have any idea how much I love you?_

"Why did you do it, Mark?" Eduardo asks. Because he's a masochist. And he's drunk. And he's sprawled on Mark's ridiculously comfortable sofa, half-heartedly trying to beat Mark on some PS3 game they've been playing since the start of the night. Chris and Dustin have long since retired in Mark's guestroom. Dustin protesting when Mark nudged him with his socked foot to wake him up and tell him to haul their asses upstairs.

He watches Mark's character on the screen, going around circles as Mark idly rolls the thumbsticks as if he hasn't heard the Eduardo's inquiry. There is a buzz in Eduardo's head and he would very much like to take back the question because he's long since stopped caring about that part of his life. Has long since accepted that Mark fucked up and he fucked up and it was all a giant ball of angst that he got over with over time.

Except not really. Except Eduardo still feels a twinge of anger, some resentment. Because during that time, it had felt so much like Mark has ruined his life. Made him look stupid in front of his father, in front of his friends, in front of everyone who's ever known about how willing and gullible he was.

"It was necessary."

And there's that anger again. Eduardo tries to stop it from flaring out, from consuming him again. He likes being friends with Mark. He missed Mark. He hated Mark. He was best friends with Mark. Instead he asks "how do you mean?"

"I thought you didn't want to be a part of Facebook." Eduardo hears, _I thought you didn't care_.

Eduardo exhales, tamps down the bitterness he feels. They sit silently amidst cans of beer and boxes of pizza so very young but so very old, and so very comfortable but so very careful.

He sees Mark shift until he's facing Eduardo, arms loosely wrapped around his knees. Eduardo doesn't look at him and Mark leans his head to the side, face resting on the back of the sofa. He feels a light kick on his thigh, quick but so very there. "I'm sorry, though. For everything."

 _Do you have any idea how much I love you?_

He's dated a lot of women and some men. Or maybe it's a lot of men and some women. It all goes past Eduardo. Like a blur of faces and of colleagues and never-happening-again one night stands. There was one man he wanted to marry, and a woman he wanted to propose to. But he didn't go through them. Eduardo would be lying if he says he doesn't know why he can't go all the way. But he's happy. Settled. He's living in New York, where's it's bitingly cold during the winter and searingly hot during the summer as if the grey steel and the the countless of paned glasses doubles whatever it's being surrounded with. Eduardo loves it. He loves walking down the his apartment and getting food from the hotdog stand. Loves the buzz of the city and the never dwindling amount of entertainment it offers no matter the time nor season. He's rich. He's happy. He's made friends with people from all over the world.

Sometimes, though, he visits California. Because he's too lazy to visit Rio de Janeiro, and too petty to visit Miami. So he goes to California where there's sand, and sun rays that aren't reflected by towering buildings. Where there's the smell of the Pacific and small shops with colour. Where there's Mark.

And Dustin. And Chris. Even if they have all gone their separate ways, they go back to Mark. It's nice to see each other once in a while. Maybe a few days every month. Or a week or two every other month. They've all grown so much and Chris has changed the world with his words, Dustin with his code, and Mark with his ideas. Eduardo knows he's matured too. Knows he's achieved so much, no longer waiting for approval. He does what he wants, when he wants. Because he can. Because he wants to. The weight of their college years no longer a burden but something they can skim through. Acknowledge, but not dwell in.

It feels really good to share fond and exasperated looks with Chris or Dustin or Chris and Dustin over Mark's head, like those years ago, when he's being particularly sulky. Not over being disturbed from being wired in, because there's a calm in Mark's actions now. He can wire in, but stay conscious to world around him; aware of his surroundings and of his words and actions and of his influence. He's CEO and _CEO, bitch_. Mark sulks for when he's being pulled to the beach because California or no, he still hates beaches.

But he goes with them with slight roll of his eyes. With Dustin who ditches the driver and the service, and bought a convertible just so they can drive to Los Angeles taking the 101 instead of 5. Taking their time, because they have it. Because they can. Just the four of them. They stay for days, just hanging out and drinking and trying to get Mark to tan. Then Eduardo, Dustin, and Chris will take the plane out of LA to go back to their lives, manly hugs and awkward pats in the back and genuine laughter shared before going through different gates with Mark waiting until they're all gone from his sight. Watching them leave but with a small smile on his face, safe in the thought of their return. Mark drives Dustin's car to his house where there are dirty t-shirts of Dustin, some of Chris's well-worn jeans, and probably half of Eduardo's wardrobe. The car would sit in Mark's garage until their next visit.

 _Do you have any idea how much I love you?_

Mark kisses Eduardo on the day after Eduardo's 27th birthday. It's meant to be a peck on the cheek--a running joke between the four of them that started some months ago because of when Mark sees them off to the airport, like a mum watching her children away. Which soon became a stupid tradition of Mark kissing their cheeks and saying 'be good' mockingly, paparazzi clicking away from their backs. The Facebook Four. The Founding Fathers of the Social Networking Revolution. Best fucking Friends.

But this time, as Mark's rising to his toes, Eduardo turns at the last second. He's not sure why he does it but the next second their lips are touching and there's that jolt--a punch in the gut like _Wardo, we did it_. Like _do you have any idea how much I love you_ and Mark steps back immediately, some apologies half formed in his lips. Eduardo can feel Dustin and Chris hold their breaths, can see flashing lights from a distance. Eduardo has grown. Eduardo has matured. Eduardo has learned a lot. He does what he wants when he wants to. Because he wants to. Because he can. Because he's Eduardo, and this is Mark and they've wasted so many time. So Eduardo pulls Mark in with a hand behind his neck, tilting his head a little, and then. And _then_ they're kissing. And kissing. And kissing. He clutches Mark close, thinks of bending him backwards like a proper film but thinks no, not this time. Maybe next time. And well, Eduardo will make sure there will be a next time. Lots of next times. Actually Eduardo's pretty sure he doesn't need to put a lot of effort for the 'next time' because judging by the way Mark is leaning into him, like he's trying to mold them together... Well. That seals it for Eduardo.

They stop kissing a while after. When breathing becomes an issue and when he feels a twitch in Mark's nape. Eduardo is so happy. There's an audible sob from their right and it's probably Dustin mock-crying and then there's an _it's about the fucking time, assholes_ from Chris and Eduardo is so happy. Mark's lips are shiny and red and Eduardo did that to him and he can't fucking believe it. He's Eduardo Saverin and he's standing in the middle of the airport and he's just kissed Mark Zuckerberg.

Then there's a man's voice announcing final call for New York. Please board immediately. And Mark--Eduardo can't fucking believe it--Mark gives him a peck in the cheek, steps back, and smiles. Mark says " _be good_ " like he does every month. Mark says "I'll call you later?" like he's not sure. But he's still smiling and he's giving Eduardo space as if Eduardo still needs it and it's so stupid and nice, it makes Eduardo's heart hurt a little from the amount of happiness he's feeling.

He steps to Mark's side and wraps a casual arm around his shoulders, giving Chris and Dustin a raised eyebrow. Mark is looking at him like he's confused and he's so so so stupid and Eduardo knows now. Eduardo knows, with Mark's gestures and their silly jokes and Mark giving him _space_. Eduardo says, "So we'll see you guys next month?", lifting his bag and flinging it on his left shoulder. Dustin legitimately squeaks and Chris is laughing and punching Dustin in the arm and then they're getting hugged and there are more flashes but Eduardo is busy looking at Mark who's giving him a blinding smile.

 _Do you have any idea how much I love you?_

Eduardo can still hear it sometimes. The quiet sigh, the pen on the table, and the words he didn't expect to have, the words he never expected to hear. It feels like they seeped into his bones, those words. Embedded themselves in his brain because Eduardo has always been so fucking needy and masochistic that his own brain didn't know how coping mechanisms work.

Eduardo feels--endless, limitless, overwhelming, relentless, and unhindered. He feels, and it shows on his face.

 _Do you have any idea how much I love you?_

  
Eduardo smiles. Mark drives them home.


End file.
